Hey there, moms and dads, aunts and uncles, (much) older siblings and grandmas and grandpas! we just heard you’re spending time with your teenage son/daughter/niece/nephew/sister/brother/granddaughter/grandson on Sunday night. and let me guess, “quality time” with the fam will constitute sitting in front of the TV. That’s because they want to tune it to that “music station” they love with people dancing around and pretending they’re singing because there’s some kind of special awards program geared for “young people,” right? and, like, Lady Gaga!that program would be the annual MuchMusic Video Awards, which, yes, airs Sunday night on MuchMusic. You’re probably going to get stuck watching this with the younger person in your house, and you might end up a little confused. so we figured it’d be good to get you up to speed with some cliffnotes. This way you can acquaint yourself with everyone in time for Sunday and can have some true “bonding” time with your anti-social teenager. so with no further ado… Selena Gomez, co-hostYou may have a vague idea who Selena Gomez is, if only because the young lady in your family has suddenly developed an intense, vitriolic dislike for her because Ms. Gomez is dating “her” Justin. This would be the “Justin” plastered in all the posters on your young lady’s wall.Lady Gaga, performerWe’ve gotta be honest, here: even you grandmas and grandpas have probably heard of Gaga, given her ubiquity. Two words should probably jog your memory: Meat dress. Avril Lavigne, performerYou may have heard of Avril Lavigne, provided someone in your family was a teenager about 10 years ago when Avril was known more for music and some vague Shania Twain connection than her perfume lines, getting divorced, then dating the spawn of oil magnates. Bruno Mars, performerBruno wears a fedora and sings neo-soul music. What do you mean that doesn’t help? Well, he co-wrote that “Fuck You” song that came out last summer. Does that help? … Hey, why are you yelling at me and telling me to watch my language?City and Colour, performerIf you don’t know who City and Colour are, it probably won’t help you to know that his real name is Dallas Green, either. There’s probably even less chance that you’ve heard of his other band, Alexisonfire. unless maybe you’re this guy. The Black Keys, performerBack in the day, you used to call this music “blues.” Then it got electrified and people like Led Zeppelin started calling it “blues rock.” Now the young person in your family may think the Black Keys are the originators of this style. you, however, know it’s not. give these dudes a chance. you might actually like them.Down With Webster, performerIf you’re over 16, there’s a 99.9 per cent chance that these guys will annoy you. Simple plan, performerPicture down With Webster, except older and with less rapping. Also, every song of theirs is about what a crisis it is being a teenager. even though they’re all, like, 35.Fefe Dobson, performerUnless you’ve got someone in your family who’s in their 20s now who was a big Fefe fan back when her “Bye Bye Boyfriend” tune came out in 2003, you may not have heard of her. Then she kind of faded away from the scene and made a comeback this year. She played Tina Turner in a movie, so that’s something.Nikki Reed, presenterYou know those shiny vampires kids really love for some weird reason? Yeah, Nikki Reed stars in that Twilight film series. She’s not the one dating Robert Pattinson, that’s Kristen Stewart. and because Reed is not Stewart, and therefore not dating Pattison, and therefore less important in the vampire actor gossip scene, your daughter does not want to stab her in the stomach. As much. Johnny Galecki, presenterIf the phrase “The big Bang Theory” reminds you of something you learned in science class and carries no pop culture meaning to it, you probably haven’t heard of Johnny Galecki. Heck, even people who’ve heard of his show probably don’t know who he is. David Guetta, presenterYou’re totally into going to raves, right? no? … Uh, did you just ask me “What is a rave?” Oh, so that explains why you don’t know this guy… Cody Simpson, presenterCody Simpson is the Australian Justin Bieber. I think that says it all.
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