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What do you do when your tortoise vanishes into thin air? Unlike a tortoise, you move fast — and immediately and breathlessly call 911. at least, that’s what Michael Thomas did. “I said it was an emergency,” the 54-year-old says. “It was like when a child is gone.” That’s why he and wife Mary are offering a whopping $500 reward for the turtle’s safe return. the vanishing act occurred in Oneida, a farming town near Galesburg that’s home to 750 residents and — until recently, at least — one 40-pound sulcata tortoise. the Thomases have no kids. But they’ve had pets of many types. Yet until six years ago, they’d owned no turtles. That changed at a reptile show in Peoria. Mary, 44, spotted a small brown-and-yellow shell — and it was love at first sight. For $100, they took it home. They called it Savanna. That’s a girl’s name, because they thought it was girl. wrong. It’s kind of hard to tell boys from girls in the turtle world. Online, I read a little about this, but I didn’t want to linger too long, lest I get in trouble at work for downloading tortoise porn. Anyway, as I understand it, males in most turtle breeds keep everything hidden mostly of the time. Exposure occurs for mating. still, there’s an occasional peep show – scientists can’t seem to tell why, and the turtles aren’t talking. regardless, they decided to keep the name. if turtles wrote country songs, this one would be, “A Boy Named Savanna.” Anyway, Savanna likes the Thomas home. In the winter, Savanna lives in their basement, inside a massive boxed lined with heating pads. In warm weather, though, he roams outside in their yard, which is surrounded by a chain-link fence. Savanna eats like a cow — literally: mostly grasses, with a few weeds. the Thomases also grow treats for Savanna, such as impatiens and hibiscus, under grow lamps inside their house. They’re very particular about Savanna’s diet. if not, it can get sick and die. and the wrong food can cause a bad turtle complexion. “People say, ‘Let it eat dog food,’ Michael Thomas says. “That makes the shell all lumpy and dumpy. But if he eats grass, the shell will be shiny and smooth.” Savanna is about 8 inches tall and 16 inches long. the breed can grow to more than double that length and weigh 200 pounds. For a pet owner, that’s quite a commitment. That’s why the Thomases made plans for the turtle after their deaths, Savanna likely will last longer: sulcata tortoises often live to age 50. if all goes as planned, Savanna will spend his twilight years at a zoo in Oklahoma with a snazzy turtle habitat. But as of now, Savanna hasn’t even reached his prime — yet already is something of a celebrity in town. Everyone knows about the tortoise and its main caretaker, Mary Thomas. “Mary is know as the Turtle Lady,” her husband says. Yet now the Turtle Lady weeps. Tuesday afternoon, Michael Thomas looked out back after a day at work. Savanna was gone. he grabbed his phone an punched 911. he urgently reporting the missing pet, explaining, “My wife and I don’t have any children. her animals are her children.” A patient deputy from the Knox County Sheriff’s Department said he’d drive out and look around. if so, no luck. I called the Sheriff’s Department but got no call-back. thus, I’m not sure what sort of manhunt — er, turtle hunt — was launched. at police academy, I’m not sure if officers’ emergency-response training includes pet-detective work and low-speed (very low-speed) chases. so what happened? the fence is tight to the ground. Savanna could not have just pushed under, Thomas says. and he saw no digging marks. the Thomases have three dogs and three cats that go in and out of the yard but never went near the tortoise. “They’re scared of him,” Thomas says. ‘He’s just a bulldozer.” Theft is the likeliest explanation, Thomas says. Though Savanna cost $100 six years ago, Thomas pegs the tortoise’s worth at least $2,000 Thomas figures someone likely jumped the fence and grabbed Savanna. Maybe there were two thieves, because it’d be hard to jump a fence while clutching a wide, 40-pound reptile. Thomas has been calling pet shops around the area. so far, not a peep about a mystery tortoise suddenly for sale. if Savanna returns, Thomas says he might put up a taller fence and connect it to an electrical charge. For now, though, he is busy posting fliers offering a $500 reward for the return of Savanna. “We don’t care if (the reward-seeker) is the person who stole it,” he says. “We won’t press charges. We just want out turtle back. It’s a member of our family.” PHIL LUCIANO is a columnist with the Journal Star. he can be reached at pluciano@pjstar.com, facebook.com/philluciano, 686-3155 or (800) 225-5757, Ext. 3155.  Read more...