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I resumed my residency as Office DJ yesterday and was dropping  ’90s R&B tunes like no (wo)man’s business.

After getting through Montell Jordan, mark Morrison and Craig David-all-over-my-BOINK, I started to drop more female acts and noticed a pattern: there were shit loads of R&B girl groups in the nineties – and three seemed to be the magic number.

Come with me on a journey through time and space as I look back at the top ten female threesomes of the nineties (cue loads of spammy porno comments on this post) in no particular order…

Right, well this has got off to a bad start already. Turns out there’s actually four of them. although, to be fair, they were originally meant to be a trio, but after all four girls wowed in the band auditions they became a quintet.

Anyway, it’s just a thinly veiled excuse to play *puts on cheesy DJ voice* their 1996 smash hit Don’t Let go (Love), written by Little Mix off X Factor. [What? They weren't even born then? Um...]

En Vogue – Don’t Let go (Love)

I’ve recently developed an alarming new found (or re found) love for this band – and this song in particular. I remember the day I got my first mobile phone (similar in proportion to a fridge freezer), I recorded the song’s intro – ‘Hi! We’re not in right now…’ – as my own answer phone message. God, I was COOL.

Watch the video now, and thanks to the ’90s revival, their outfits actually look tres Of  the Moment: chunky DMs and socks paired with teeny tiny hot pants; slouchy checked shirts; cropped hoodies; high waisted denims; Elizabeth Duke jewellery. Whould’ve thunk it?

They were saucy lil’ minxes, too – this is the full edit of the song complete with my favourite line; ‘this is what it sounds like… when. we. Make. LOVE’ – followed by breathless, orgasmy panting sounds. enjoy!

Jade – Don’t Walk Away

Bit of an obvious one, this. but bear with. We’re talking about their early stuff, before it became the Beyonce Show. Remember? I’m now also brazenly ignoring the feature title as there’s been more line-up changes to Destiny’s Child than Katy Price has had husbands. but, this was their first release as a trio, in 2000, so it sort of makes the grade. Now, take a lesson in extreme colour blocking: matching your clothes to your furniture…

Destiny’s Child – Say my Name

Sisters with Voices, innit? Bit of a theme forming here. Three girls. from America. Diva-esque. Denim cut-offs. Yadda yadda yadda.

My favouritest single of theirs is right here featuring a cheeky sample from Michael Jackson’s Human Nature. FACT: this was their fourth single although it was a remix of their first single, with added MJ.

They were all professional jockeys, which is why they’re demonstrating equestrian chic in the video, which cost approximately £51.99 to make, including editing. Er…

SWV – right here (Human Nature mix)

Kind of one-hit wonders, really as it was alllll about this song. but what a song. Smoother than Steve Jones in a silk onesie…

Brownstone -If you Love Me

Technically, Mis-Teeq were a girl group of the ‘noughties’ (bleurgh, did I just say that? Soz.) but wait! They were FORMED in 1999, so they totally still count and they’re BRITISH and this isn’t just an excuse to play All I want and do Alesha’s Dalek-y, shouty ‘M with the I with the S-T double E Q’.Nope.ENTAHHHHH!

Mis-teeq – All I Want

Another British band! I’m on a roll now. Oh, shit, there was four of them, too. But… Louise left and THEN they became a trio, so yet again, I’ve seamlessly managed to get out of that. And technically they were a trio anyway, cos that one with the bowl haircut just stood at the back and did NOTHING.

They were all really hot and looked sexy in their baggies. Where as I just looked like a turd. Clearly, I wanted to be Louise Nurding and my proudest moment back in the day was when someone told me I bore a slight similarity to her, if you screwed up your eyes and waved your hand in front of your face rapidly.

Eternal – Stay

Rapping trio Salt-N-Pepa got right in on the girl band act in the ’90s, with a departure from previous harder stuff like Tramp and Push it. They donned the obligatory hot pants + cropped top + checked shirt + lace bra + bovver boots combo and got their groove on. They collaborated with fellow (?) female band En Vogue in 1994, totally giving us more bang for our girl group buck…

Salt-N-Pepa – Whatta Man (featuring En Vogue)

I liked TLC because they all had hilarious middle names like ‘T-Boz’, ‘Left Eye’ and ‘Chilli’ – where as mine was just ‘Louise’ – and still is. despite me threatening to change it to ‘Danger’ in 2001. They also used to wear condoms in packets as nifty accessories. I didn’t. I was at a Catholic all-girls school, fer chrissakes.

On a more serious note, these girls showed Destiny’s Child just how it’s done: between 1992 and 2003 they scored ten top ten singles, four number one singles, four multi platinum albums, and four Grammy Awards. Sadly, Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopez was killed in a car accident in 2002 – just 8 months after R&B singer Aaliyah also tragically died. RIP both.

TLC – Scrubs

Gotta give lesser known girl trio Jomanda some props here! Their stuff was technically more ‘house’ than ‘R&B’, and totally up my street. FACT: in 1993 British producer type Felix sampled Jomanda’s Don’t you want my Love in his similarly titled track Don’t you want Me. Both are, to use the technical term, CHOOOOOOOOOOONS.

Jomanda – Got a Love For You

And if you liked that last one, check out this post: Ten of the best dance tunes with the phattest piano breaks EVER!

Fancy a threesome? // Top ten female R&B trios of the ’90s…

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